| This sounds like a scenario that belongs in a life like mine. |
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| New Journal. |
[25 Feb 2005|06:37pm] |
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Well everybody, whether you know or not, i changed my livejournal user name! I'm still going to keep ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) stupidguitarist just to reminisce with, but i'm going to be writing in f_of_x from now on. yayyy. so add that journal. <3Jen.
Add it even if you hate me.
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| my weekend. so far anyway. |
[20 Feb 2005|08:47am] |
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against me |
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the craziest thing just happened. crazzaaayyy.
well friday night, i stayed at pats and i did not sleep at all. it was nuts hahha. a good time, nonetheless.
and well, when i got home on saturday morning, the second thing i did was fall asleep. the first of which, was that i called nicoley. :-) i slept until like 3, when the phone rang. then i went back to sleep until 5, and was woken up by my sister. oh, but i went back to sleep. then jamie called me at like 8, and i tried to get 40s for him. didnt work. then i called drew... lets see, then i went back to sleep, this time until 1am. upon waking up at that point, i realized that the only thing i had eaten all day was breakfast, i had barely consumed any fluids, and i had been sleeping for about 15 hours.
fucked up, right?
my mind, as well as my entire body, ached, and a severe dizziness had taken over. i felt wicked crappy. but there was nothing else to do at 1 in the morning, besides sleep. so i did. i woke up a little while ago, for good. haha.
i've been sleeping for almost an entire day. give or take a few hours.
one day awake, one day asleep. this couldnt have been all that good for me. actually, in the end result of it all, my parents somehow convinced themselves that i am addicted to hard drugs. fancy that.
my weekends always seem to balance eachother out, and move from one extreme to another instantaneously. whatever, its not like i had anything better to do yesterday anyway.
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[07 Feb 2005|04:48pm] |
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i dont care if im out of a job or if i become really broke. i dont care how. BUT THIS SUMMER i WILL travel across the continental united states that our forefathers so selflessly made free.
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[05 Feb 2005|05:13pm] |
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sublime |
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"two tay tarty tarted" - drew.
so yep. 2 day party at lillians, a bathtub full of beer, and a coffee ice cream cake with a man in a speedo on it. for drew. for his birthday. hahahaaahahahah amazing. amaaaaaaaaaazing. we all did a great job planning it, and its workin out awesome. thank you soooo much to everyone that helped! nicole, kayt, carl, cory, joe, matt, kevin... ohh yeah and corys brother.hahahaha
so i applied to CVS today. hopefully, i can pick up a job there. sweet.
last night was interesting.. i stayed at lillians for a while and had plans to sleep over, but then left at 230 in the morning. i dont think i'll be hangin out there tonight either. who knows.
but i am hanging out with cheeta:-) tonight. who knows what we'll be up to hahah, it will be a good time. we might stop by jacobs or something. sucks that we couldnt go to maryland today. i would have loved to meet trent and all of his friends.
i hung out with angie and nicole during the day today and it was awesome. the weather was so nice out. it felt soo good to listen to sublime really loud with the windows rolled down in angies car. and it was just so perfect. me and mah girls. so now im getting wicked excited for spring, and for florida. i think its going to cheer me up so much.
i never knew that winter could be this depressing. every other winter has been so much different. and ive never really been sad like this. im just so happy that its all going to start looking up now. :-)
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| i really kind of hope that everyone thinks this is going to be long and boring and they dont read it |
[31 Jan 2005|09:18pm] |
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bob dylan |
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seriously, so many things suck so bad right now. how come it all has to happen at once? i fucking hate it. i quit my job... for many reasons. goddamn, i knew it would come to this.
and i feel as though everyone is lying to me. i havent been able to trust anyone lately. certain people show me some awesome times and make things seem to good to be true, and others just try to make up for a lacking ability to do so. but the people that i have the most fun with, i feel like i could never be the best of friends with. the quality of friendship is amazing, but it only lasts for a moment. and i cannot just go by one moment. ..then the people that i'm closest to, just get drunk and apologize for everything. when it all sobers up, its like the conversation never happened. in fact, it was not even worth having. i guess i just dont understand why some shit couldnt have been said to me sooner. how am i supposed to believe you? everything is always from one extreme to the other.
well then theres the few people that have stuck with me since forever. and i love them. oh and they know they werent included in that last paragraph. <3
no hard feelings to anyone, its just that...
oh im fucking discouraged. and theres like no one in my new classes. they're all filled with enemies and acquaintances.
ohyeah
&im sick of taking people for granted. its the way ive always lived my life. im sorry i cant completely analyze what something means to me before i act on it. im only fucking human. not taking anything for granted is impossible unless you never had said thing to begin with. and believe me, ive been there. but it goes both ways. what im trying to say is that im sick of being taking for granted as well. im important. and i mean something, right?
cause i feel like i dont. i feel like ive never been this codependent in my life. ive done a fucking 180 this past year. you're right, im not myself. but if i'm a new person, i should be leading a new life, right?
im just going to leave you with that.
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[14 Jan 2005|12:21pm] |
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rilo kiley |
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well apparently its not a tumor, or even a sist for that matter. the doctors dont know why its there, or why i have a lump on my back. its just extra tissue they said. and its not affecting my body in anyway. and they wont even operate on it because it would be pointless. i would be left with a five inch scar. hey, i wouldnt mind the scar, i dont want this thing on my back anymore. it sucks big time. theres nothing they can really do for it now... i have to go back in a month to see if it changes any. they said that it actually might have been caused by a hormonal disease called cushions' disease or something. yeahhh.. so now i have to get blood work taken to see if i have that. this is wicked stupid. i just want to get this thing off my back. im wicked pissed off. haha, my family is very relieved though. my mom took me out to breakfast after we went to the doctors. and then i went to old navy and got 4 new shirts, 3 jackets and 2 tank tops. sweeeeet. whatever though. today was really fucking pointless.
i wanted to get a tattoo across my upper back someday. and if i ever got it and wanted to show people, they would just laugh at me because i have a huge lump there! this is also going to make wearing a bathing suit or tank tops in the summer very awkward for me. what the fuck. i need to get this thing removed. its such a piece of shit. i kind of wish it was a tumor, so atleast they'd do something about it. but i have to be the fucking freak with the lump they cant do anything about.
hahahah man, this is hilarious. but it wicked sucks big time.
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[11 Jan 2005|03:54pm] |
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john anderson |
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heyyyy. lifes been pretty blah lately. well, i guess its been okay, other than the stupid lump on my back. i have to get like MRIs done like everyday now and it sucks. i cant wait to find out what it is and get it taken care of. what a piece of shit. :-(
whatever happens, happens. it'll still be the same in the end.
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[29 Dec 2004|12:19pm] |
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noneee |
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heyyyy now. things have been good :-) this vacations been fun, although not too irregular from my normal life. hanging out, having good times. you know how it is. i think ive slept at my house like once this whole week. its fuckin nuts. hahhaha christmas was good. spent time with family and stuff haha, and then later that night i got chinese food in the most backwards place and saw lemony snicket. with my beloved drew, of course. hahaa :-) that movie is amazing. i think i might see it tonight :-)
ive been working and stuff. thats been pretty craptastic lately. dayamn. i dont know about that place anymore... i just dooonttt knowww..
but atleast new years will be fun. we got a room at lillians motel for the night. so it'll just be one big party. wooooo. boozin up at lillians hahhahha.
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| Charles Manson |
[16 Dec 2004|04:42pm] |
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vandals - the wholllleee entire 'oi to the world' cd |
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apparently some people think that i look like this:
hahahhhahha oh man :-)
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[16 Dec 2004|12:59pm] |
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okay well... things have been good. ive been missing a lot of school though. damn me. i probably shouldnt be. i bet all my teachers hate me. haha. whatever. i really dont care. the vandals "oi to the world" cd is best to listen to at christmas. it totalyl describes the kind of mood im in right now. yeeehaw. :-)
and well. sincei got my haircut and i want to see if my camera still kind of works, im going to post some pictures. hooray. :-)
( Christmas is dark and wet, so I can't forget that Christmas reminds me I have nothing. )
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